Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Walk AND chew gum? Are you nuts?

File under: Klutz.

I forgot my lunch today, so I picked up a salad at Wendy's on my way in to work. Lunch time rolls around. I put the dressing and croutons on, then very carefully, re-seal it and start to shake it up. At which point, the lid slides off and lettuce, chicken and parmesan cheese fling themselves with gay abandon around my office.


I now have half a salad from Wendy's.

This is the story of my life. I fall over for no reason, I drop things, I break things, I bump into desks and beds and cars - BIG things, things you shouldn't miss, I trip over. I trip over cracks in the pavement all. the. time. I once fell down in Cambridge. Just fell. Walking along and, whoosh, there I went. Scraped palms, bleeding knees. It was lovely. I wasn't drunk, it wasn't dark, I just fell.

It amazes me that I've never had a car accident. Never even come close (knock on wood, turn around three times, go outside and spit).


So, where does one buy tinted moisturizer? I bought what I thought was a moisturizing makeup, but I think they lied because I put it on and an hour later, my skin was as flaky as a flaky thing. It's really getting annoying - my skin is so sensitive (it's 'cause I'm a delicate, fragile flower. What? Stop laughing.) I need something that's not going to make my skin go nuts.


In diabetes-related news, I've talked O into doing a thigh site on Saturday. I'm holding her to it. I expect lots of protesting and bargaining, but it will be done. Her stomach is a mess; all puffy and her sites are getting infected there. It's disgusting.


Juliabohemian said...

I watched my 3 year old walk into a wall yesterday. I felt so awful for her. She was looking at her reflection in the window as she went along and bam. If I had looked sooner I might have prevented it...
Don't feel bad, I am also rather uncoordinated. My husband used to make jokes about me wearing a helmet and knee pads for safety.

floreksa said...

I tripped and feel INTO TRAFFIC, in Boston.

I also trip over unseen items and my favorite is when I open a door and walk into it at the same time!!!

Major Bedhead said...

juliab - see, I'm terrible, because I would have laughed if my daughter had done that. Picked her up and helped her, of course, but I still would have laughed. I hope my kids don't inherit my clumsy tenedencies. You should have seen me trying to navigate a balance beam as a child. It wasn't pretty.

Sarah - I do the door thing, too. I'm glad I'm not the only one out there. Maybe there's something in the Massachusetts water supply?

Nicole P said...

Yay, Olivia. Mine is in my thigh as we speak. I hope she does as well with it.

Tinted moisturizer..

Clinique makes great tinted moisturizer, I wear there's in summer, you barely know it's there, but it makes your skin look and feel excellent... There's one called Moisture Sheer Tint -- that one's got an SPF of 15 for an added bonus and another called Almost Makeup (this one's a bit heavier - wear this more if I'm going out, but still very good.) The price -- suprisingly -- isn't bad for these. You can get them at Filene's/Macy's for $15-20 - the tube will last you for months.

Major Bedhead said...

Filene's. Am I the only person who cried at the demise of Filene's? TCBIM thought I was nuts.

Thanks, Nicole, I'll check that out. Clinique and I don't always get along in the base makeup deparment - maybe they'll give me a sample. What are the odds.

Shannon said...

Gosh, even reading about people falling, and having accidents makes me laugh.

I even laugh at MYSELF when I fall.

Nicole P said...

The Filene's death is terrible.

Ask the lady at the counter; I bet they'd give you a sample. I've always had really good luck with Clinique products/service.

Lyrehca said...

Julia, I have fallen twice in the past month. First time, OK, I was reading and I tripped on a crack in the sidewalk. Skinned my knee and was yanked up by fellow passerby. The second time, about two weeks later, I perhaps slipped and fell AGAIN, on the same scabby knee. Blood poured down. Nasty all around. At least the blood washed out of my khaki pants with a little Shout.

I have asked if I perhaps have a neurological problem, but no. I'm just environmentally-challenged.

Jamie said...

Julia - you are not alone (obviously). I am not a self proclaimed clutz, but I have had my fair share of wipe outs over the years - maybe a bit more than the average person .... I'm REALLY good at falling down stairs. When I'm an old lady, my first mission will be to live in a house with NO stairs - or I'll inevitably end up with two replaced hips.

A good friend of mine has it bad. She's fallen down stairs, wiped out for no apparent reason, tripped on air ... but the list doesn't end there - bad luck seems to follow this one like the plague - getting sprayed by a skunk, etc., etc., you get the picture.

Maybe a support group should be formed for the gravity-challenged individuals out there (myself included). LOL.

Take care - and watch out for those cracks :D

Angewl said...

My SIL calls me clumsy smurf. I am quite accident prone myself.

Just walking along and will fall. I fall down the steps often. Trip over my own feet. I have ruined 2 of the 3 vacations we have had in the past almost 12 yrs. Fell down at the beach. Got up, walked maybe 50 ft, fell down again. The cops came wanted to take me to the Er. I ende dup in an air cast. Fell down in Jamestown. Only made it to 1 of the sites. wasted the rest cause I was unable to walk it.

Drop things, spill things. Can't eat anything without it ending up on my shirt or in my bra.

So, you are not alone.

Joke said...


Filene's is dead?


P.S. My wife is a raving klutz. Whenever she does something like that I just look at her and, in a cockney accent, I say to her: "You're a swan, you are."

diabeticfeed said...

Please tell me that there is still a Filene's Basement in downtown Boston...please...::sob::

Does that mean that the frantic dash for wedding gowns doesn't happen anymore?

I can remember trying on clothes in the middle of FB, with my mother holding up her winter coat as a shield. Good times, man, good times...

Seconding Nicole's recommendation for Clinique's tinted moisturizer. Now that I'm down south, I don't need the extra moisture, but it worked while I was up there.

Third, tell Olivia that in over 6 years on a pump, I just started using my thigh area last month - and I TOTALLY love it. Doesn't hurt, and my belly area is finally healing. Good luck!


Major Bedhead said...

Yes, Filene's got bought out by some mega corp - the same one that owns Macy's. Sucks ass, man.

Filene's Basement still exists. That was sold off years ago and is a separate entity from Filene's.

Nicole P said...

But the Basement is leaving the Crossing -- it's going to be a Target, rumor has it. So -- in a few months -- no more bridal runs. I love seeing the photos from that day -- such a riot!

Major Bedhead said...

A Target??! Gah!

First Jordan Marsh, now Filene's. Welcome to the Malling of America.

Joke said...

Same idiots bought the oldest dep't. store chain in FL and IMMEDIATELY pissed away 97 years of branding by changing all the stores to "Macy's."

Sales are down, and their competition is kicking their ass.

Brainpower in action.


P.S. Bastids!
P.P.S. Don't ask me why, but we had Jordan Marsh down here in FL.

Anonymous said...

I'm a klutz too. If something can be tripped over, dropped, or walked into, I will manage it.

Anonymous said...

Another klutz here! I still remember crying over a dropped pot pie that landed face down and exploded on the floor. (I waited nearly an hour for that thing!) I am always covered with bruises, cuts and burns. I have multiple scars from cutting myself with my own, very short, fingernails. I also do get in car accidents, but they're not my fault, I'm just an accident magnet. Got in 2 in 2 weeks once; I was still driving the rental when the second one happened. I quit my driving job that day.

Andrea said...

Hmmm, is being klutzy and clumsy the same? I don't know ??? but I feel your pain, lol ;) (no pun intended).

As for the thigh for a good site...didn't work so well for me. Maybe my legs are too muscular for that(or I'd just like to think so) :). I hope it works out for her.

Hope you have an accident-free weekend from one klutz to another! :)