Monday, April 17, 2006

Shut. Up.

O had a soccer match this past Saturday. She's in an under-12 group, so they're not great players, although a few of them are quite good. They're invariably outmatched by their opposing team, though. To their credit, they keep plugging along and O loves to play, even though they haven't won a single game yet this season.

Soccer parents, though. Oh. My. God. Someone needs to come thru and cull them. The coach had to make an announcement at the first practice, telling the parents that they had to keep it down because last season, they were yelling instructions so loudly from the sidelines that the kids couldn't hear the coach's instructions.

Someone must have forgotten to give this one woman the memo. All thru the game, she was running up and down the sidelines, hollering non-stop. "Come on, Dudley, get the ball down the field, Dudley, be agressive, don't let it get away, Dudley, Go Dudley, let's go, Dudley!" Over and over and over. And over. Didn't matter that the girls had the ball in the opposing team's goal end, she was still "Get the ball down the field, Dudley!" Listen, you stupid bint, if it was any further down the field, it would be out of bounds. I was about ready to strangle her. The girls were glaring at her and she still wouldn't stop the screaming.

If I ever, EVER get like that, you all have my permission to take me behind the woodshed and beat the shit out of me.

15 comments:

Nicole P said...

I feel bad for Dudley. For obvious reasons.

julia said...

Dudley is the town, not one child. It was collective yelling. Oy.

Angela said...

hahahahahaha,

I thought she was rooting for a kid named Dudley!

Think the coach will have a talk with her?

Nicole P said...

Doh. I'm such a dummy sometimes, I totally thought there was a kid named "Dudley..." LOL

Shannon said...

I thought she was screaming for her son, Dudley, too, LOL. I was thinking "keep it down lady, the poor kid is probably cringing at the sound of his name."

I can't stand parents like that either.

Penny said...

I thought it was one kid she was screaming at too. I, like Shannon, was feeling sorry for him or her.

Megan said...

Lol, I thought that too. And than I was confused, cause it sounded like an all girls team.

daysgoby said...

Nah - you'll be the Mom who shouts the odd literary references at the Boo's rugby games....

Joke said...

Put me down as another idiot who thought Dudley was a kid.

That's why my 8 y.o. plays golf. The worst that parents do is whisper in fake British accents.

"Billy has quite a difficult putt, the greens are rather fast and he has a bit of break to the left."

-J.

Kassie said...

Having lived in North Oxford, I actually suspected Dudley was the town team!! Do I win a prize???

My husband coaches our son's baseball team, and one of the things we asked the parents to never do was criticize the ump. We should add the no-coaching-from-the-sidelines rule, too though, because at one game last year, Jake literally froze between third and home because so many people were yelling instructions at him, he had no idea what to do.

julia said...

I just don't understand the compulsion to scream stuff at your kid or the team in general. Why? What's the point? The kids, to a child, hate it. The coaches hate it. The screamers aren't doing any good by doing it, so shut the fuck up. Cheer when they make a good play, console when they don't.

Would they go to a pro game and scream like that? Like hell they would - they'd get their asses handed to them by the fans and probably by security. So why do it at your kid's game? It puts so much pressure on them - just let them play the damned game and stop pushing them so hard. The kids are there to have a good time. They aren't there to get screamed at by their parents.

Jamie said...

Yep, there are a lot of idiot parents out there. Have you ever gone to a junior hockey game?? I don't even have kids in hockey but I have horror stories from Hell that I have heard - all about parents yelling at their kids. These people are total tits. Yeah, cheer on your child, but to criticize or yell non-stop is annoying and you look like a shithead doing it.

Stuff like that makes me see red.

Erica said...

LOL I thought Dudley was a kid too!

How annoying... The poor kids. Think coach will 'remind' the parents after that lunatic?

Juliabohemian said...

I hate those parents. Kids on the field do NOT want to have to listen to that. It confuses them and it pisses of the coach.

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