Friday, May 12, 2006

Grump Girl

This is my 100th post. I 'd put off writing it because I was going to try to do something profound or deep or really funny (ok, that usually fails, but at least I try) or something. And you know what? I just can't be arsed. I'm tired, it's been raining for fucking DAYS and I've been home alone all week, with two rather cranky children, because TCBIM is in Ohio. So, I'm grumpy and you, lovely internets, get the benefit of my grump.

The Boo has discovered temper tantrums. She wakes up (at what-the-fuck o'clock, I might add) and starts in with the grizzling and grouching and doesn't let up until I drop her off at daycare. I pick her up at 4 and she has about 20 minutes of "Oh yay, mummy's here, LaLa's here, I'm so happy," before she starts in again. It's getting really old. Really old. She's not hurt, she's not sick, she's just pissed off because I won't let her eat rocks or the plants or drag the cat around by his tail or rip all the books off the bookshelves. And if I put her in the playpen, forget it. She'd scream less if I were sticking bamboo shoots under her fingernails. It's Driving. Me. Nuts. I'm blaming it on the rain.

We have mice in the house. I found their nasty little mousey poops all over my silverware drawer, which is totally grossing me out. Like, totally, man. So I bought some snap traps, trying to be environmentally-, and more to the point, pet- and kid-friendly, but what did the little fuckers do? Figured out how to get the peanut butter out of the trap without springing it. So, D-Con it is. Your days are numbered. You ate my butter and that is a sin I just can't forgive.

Oscar the Cat, has a cold. I know I shouldn't laugh at my pets, but there really isn't much that's funnier to see than a Persian cat with the sneezes. I can laugh at him with abandon, however, since he isn't catching the damned mice. He also puked up a huge hairball onto my brand new futon cover. His fragile ego will just have to deal.

My 18 month-old G5 shit the bed the other day. I turned it on, it did its start-up thing and I went to check my email, whereupon it went *pop* and went dead. Dead, dead, deadski. No blown fuses, no shut off power cord, nada. So, I have a $2,000 paperweight. Again. This damned thing has given us a ton of problems since we bought it. Everyone raves about Apples, but honestly, I've had fewer problems with my 8 year-old Gateway.

It really has been raining for days. It's supposed to rain right thru the weekend and all of next week. Today, it's raining under the doors here at work. Lovely. There's a puddle outside my office. Not outdoors, just outside my office.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, me. The Whale. I'm only 27 weeks right now. I dread to think what I'm going to look like at 40 weeks. The word gi-normous springs to mind. Oy.


Anonymous said...

If this helps, Ms. Grumpy, your posts are one of my guilty pleasures. I love seeing that you've written something new, which means that I will be laughing at something you've written very soon.

Hope the weather changes soon for you, and by the matter what you look beautiful at 27 weeks.

Congrats on your 100th post. Here's to thousands more.

Scott K. Johnson said...

Yes - your posts almost always have me giggling or chuckling out loud.

This time it was these things that got me going again:

1) Not letting the Boo eat rocks, and her being pissed about it
2) Mental images of Oscar the cat with the sneezes
3) The puddle outside your office - only maybe because we have a leaky door here too...

I was going to give you some shyte about the pregnancy picture, but it's been my experience going through two of them with my beautiful wife and one with my lil sis' that a pregnant woman is not to be messed with.

So, on that note - you look marvelous. :-)

Major Bedhead said...

How cool that I'm someone's guilty pleasure! I think that made my day.

I can squash you like a bug right now, Scott. Stay with the nice-nice and we'll all be happier. ;-)

graymama said...

Hooray on your 100th post!

As with all parenting styles, they are not perfect and don't work all the time for anybody; however, aware parenting techniques work often for us an Buddy's tantrum moments.

Bisquick on a mouse trap works every time, but there is the blood from the broken neck factor that is never fun to clean up. D-Con is probably your best bet.

Sucks about the hairball!

Your pic is beautiful! At 41 weeks of pregnancy with Buddy, I weighed 225 lbs, and I am only 5'3"!

Juliabohemian said...

is she almost 3? if so it's totally normal. I didn't say tolerable or fun. But, she is trying to assert her independence from you and in so many words, try to see what she can get away with.
BE FIRM. stick to your guns. Do not tolerate any crap. Be consistent and it will pass. She will catch wind of the fact that such behavior isn't acceptable...eventually. But, BE FIRM!

Joke said...

Maybe the cat has a mouse allergy?


Angewl said...

I think you look beautiful!

Sorry about the tantrums. Savannah had one ALL FREAKING DAY yesterday. SO damn annoying.

I'm sorry about your Mac. I remember when you ahd trouble before. Thats when we were deprived so long of pictures. It has seem to have been a big problem. I hope its fixable, cheaply fixable.

You are always a pleasure to read!

I hope the rain goes away soon.

Mice, ARGH!!!!! We have had them, too. Tried the traps, ate the PB off and never set it off. tired the glue traps. Caught quite a few. There are also some running around somewhere with bald patches where they got loose. Little fuckers. Hubby brought out the D-con. I know there is at least 1 more. Little fucker got into MY brand new bag of keebler soft batch chocolate chip cookies. I was soooo mad. Good luck with the D-con.

I hope you can have a good weekend and try and get some much needed rest.

LJ said...

Here's a big hug miss grumpy guts. Sorry for so many things going wrong, however congratulations on your 100th post!!!

Major Bedhead said...

juliab - she's only 18 months. At three, I'd expect this, but this seems early for this. Maybe it's because her dad is away. Whatever it is, it's really freakin' annoying.

Kerri. said...

Congratulations on your 100th post! I'll heartily second the fact that your blog is one of my guilty pleasures.

I'm so sorry about your computer. That is horrendous. Apple, from what I've experienced, is so touch and go. I've heard of iPods literally exploding. Dodgy bunch. Here's to another PC.

And you and your little baby look absolutely beautiful. Congratulations ten times over.

Joke said...

18 months? She's advanced for her age, then.

-Mr. Optimist

rae ann said...

ah! i wondered why you hadn't posted recently. i'm one of those geeks that keeps your counter numbers rolling...

your prego belly looks great! i'll be anxious to hear what you measure at 40 weeks! we'll have to have extremely alcoholic drinks together from a distance once we birth these behemoths.

i really hope your weekend goes better than your week. what a disaster...

Major Bedhead said...

Now I understand why Badger is always saying Shut UP, Joke. You're like the annoying big brother I never had. Awwww.

RA - oh yes. I'll definitely let you know when I'm ready for that drink. A big fat one, I don't even care what it is at this point.

Trish said...

I love the pic, your arent going to be ginormous you are going to be beautiful!!!

I also have to admit, your blog also has become a must read for me every day!!!

Joke said...

I'm telling Mom.


Juliabohemian said...

it occurred to me that she could also be reacting to your impending delivery. I remember mine sort of freaked out the last few months before her sister was born. They can tell something is not right or different, you know? Also the fact that her dad is away is a definite possibility. Any change in their routine and they are all messed up (Just like us!)

Christine said...

*Gasp* You're not a cartoon character?

I love your posts too.

Nicole P said...

Late... As usual.

Congratulations, Julia, on your 100th post. I too look forward to more snarky, snorty giggling to get me through my otherwise boring work day.

Oh, boy. We need to introduce the Boo to my nephew, Milton. That boy is as cute as cute gets, but a holy terror. I bet those two could show one another a thing or two.

And you look great, Julia. No lie.

floreksa said...

We must keep SWCAL and Boo, far, far away from each other...They sound like long lost twins. I HATE weeknights, especially weeknights in the rain. SWCAL is the master of tantrums (currently we are horrible beast parents for not allowing her to stand on the kitchen chairs doing the cha-cha).

They cannot be allowed to share notes.

floreksa said...

Oh, it sounds like the power supply for the G5 shit the bed. Shouldn't be a big deal to fix it. Let me rephrase...On normal computers its a $50 part and takes 5 minutes to replace. Not sure on a G5.