Thursday, August 31, 2006

Ok, let's try this again

Now that I've calmed down, I'll see if I can remember what I had typed before.

People have been changing their templates. All the blogs I read seem to have gone white and crisp and clean and now I feel far too garish and loud and, well, teal. And I don't particularly like teal. I do, however, really like the monkey. So, my question for you, dear Internets, is twofold and goes like this: A.) Can I keep the monkey and title and stuff, but change the background colour to white and the text to black? And 2.) Since I bought this template (coding ignoramus that I am), is that ok to do? Is it going to piss off the designer? Do I need to ask her permission or is it mine, since I bought and paid for it?

****************

TCBIM and I talked last night. I don't know how sucessful it was, since there seems to be a lot of misunderstanding on both our parts, but the lawn did get mowed, and not by me.

We are both unbelievably stressed these days. Money is so tight that he's taken on side work, which means he's working weekends and may start working evenings, too. I haven't found any paying work and at the moment, don't even see how I'd have time to do it anyway. Plus, I'm not getting much sleep since The Bug is nursing once or twice during the night and The Boo has decided that shrieking is the only method of communication. (and what the fuck is up with that, by the way? Ok, stop. Now. Please.) We're both about ready to snap.

*****************

My friend K is having a birthday today. We've known each other since we were five years old but I'm having serious doubts about continuing the friendship. It's been a one-way street for a couple of years with her. She lives north of Boston and I've always been the one to drive to her place. She visited me once in the three years I lived in central Mass. Now that I'm out near the Berkshires, I doubt I'll see her again, unless I drive the 2+ hours to the North Shore.

When my grandmother died, I called her and left a message letting her know. She didn't call me back for three weeks. I left her a message when The Bug was born and I have yet to hear from her. This kind of crap is her usual m. o. and I'm really sick of it.

The problem is, how do you end a friendship? Do you say "I don't want to be friends because of X and Y," or do you just stop calling? Not calling any more seems very cowardly but I'm not sure that I want to call her and say it's over. I'm a big, wussy chicken when it comes to confrontation like that. I'd rather just walk away and let it die a natural death and not burn any bridges.

*******************************

Did anyone watch Anthony Bourdain in Beirut last night on TLC? It was fantastic. I'm not linking to it because TLC and/or the Travel Channel is what made my computer shit the bed last time, but go look it up. Hopefully they'll re-run it, but if not, check You Tube.

Ok. I think I've remembered it all. If not...oh well. It's lost in the ether.

15 comments:

Cat, Galloping said...

I like your template! But if you really want to change it, I'm guessing the designer won't mind.

Things sound stressful. Don't forget the impact of All Those Hormones and give yourself a break.

For your "friend", no official breakup is necessary, just let it fade away. Maybe it turns into one of those friendships where you talk once a year or less but you're happy to hear from each other when you do.

KathyR said...

What Cat,G said: Isn't this the stage at which you're supposed to be blubbering incoherently while folding endless stacks of laundry? That's how I vaguely remember it, anyway. That you can find time/energy/brain cells to blog is amazing!

I also agree about just letting the friend fade out. There's no need to make a statement and if she asks (seems unlikely), you do have a busy life & brand new baby etc...

Joke said...

I agree. Fade to black.

-J.

Andrea said...

Maybe you could talk to the designer and just have them change the writing part to white, keeping the sidebar and header. Maybe that wouldn't cost much. Or at all.

Glad you talked to TCBYM and got some stuff worked out. Sometimes, just working out what's stressing each other out can help with the stress.

With your friend, I'd just let it go. If and when she decides to call you back, just be happy to talk to her, but then let her keep up the contact for awhile. If it's worth keeping, she'll stay in touch, and you won't have burned any bridges that way.

Mamma Sarah said...

I love the monkey, but also dislike the teal. I say go for the change!

Glad to hear you worked things out at least for now. Its super hard with a new one (I'm a first timer myself), plus you have another. Hang in there.

As for the friend... I agree with everyone else. I just recently faded a friendship and after a year of that she came back realizing her error. Friendships run in cycles, give it time and space...

bubandpie said...

I think you should be able to de-teal without asking permission or paying more money, but that is just my totally non-legal opinion based on my total non-knowledge of copyright law (are templates protected by copyright? - as I said, total non-knowledge).

And there was a book out last year maybe on the subject of breaking up with a friend. I didn't read the book, but I'm with the previous commenter - don't burn any bridges or invite unnecessary confrontations. I've been subtly dumped before and while I didn't really like it very much, I'd take in a heartbeat over being TOLD that someone doesn't want to be friends with me. The only drawback is that I don't know why. If it was over some kind of misunderstanding that could have been cleared up had it been addressed, I'd want the person to address it, but if it's a genuine matter of growing apart, I say just let it go.

Emily said...

Just stop calling. That's my vote. Why dignify that shit with a stressful breakup.

art-sweet said...

I LOVE this template.

Every time I look at it I want to change mine.

Re: Your Friend
I say: Sayonara

I'm sorry things are so stressful right now. I wish there was something I could do, aside from sending you virtual hugs, but please know that lots of those are headed your way.

Shannon said...

I don't think the designer will mind a minor change, but if it makes you feel better, ask.

As for ending a friendship, I did that once to a girl who was my best friend through H.S. and was my Maid of Honor. It was all one way (her way, or no way) and I simply stopped staying in touch. I don't think you need to state your reasons to her. Some people are just a drain.

I saw the Anthony Bourdain Beirut episode...I love that show and watch it on a regular basis.

His autobiography books are something else to look out for at the library.

Oh, The Joys said...

Don't go changin'...

I hope you get more sleep!

Mrs. Chicky said...

I can't see a reason why the designer would mind if you changed a portion of your template from one color to another. I say go for it. It will make you feel like a new woman.

I agree that you should let the friendship fade out and away. From the sound of it, it shouldn't be too hard since you seem to be the one who is doing most of the work.

Angela said...

I like your template, but if you dislike teal ask the designer is changing it is ok. You did buy it and its yours, but maybe she already has a code or something? (Totally template challenged)

I hope the talk helped. If nit, i can still find a way to come up there and put a boot in his ass fer ya! (lots of southern drawl there)

I hope you can get some rest and soon. {{{HUGS}}}

Rachel said...

I love your template.

And I love Anthony Bourdain (other than the chain-smoking), but I missed the show. darnit. hopefully it will be rerun soon enough.

Suzanne said...

I love your template. The teal is refreshing.

Suzanne said...

Oh, and I love that TLC made your "computer shit the bed." That is a priceless line. I hope your don't mind if I steal it...