Thursday, August 17, 2006
In Which I Resemble Bill The Cat
So, um, yeah. Still here. I have to check the computer to see what day it is and I have to book time to have a shower, but I'm here. I actually got the living room Hoovered today. I really feel like I've accomplished something, which is sad. When getting the hoovering done is the highlight of your day, something is wrong.
I baked cookies last night. I couldn't tell you the last time I baked cookies voluntarily. I'm hoping I'm not turning into Donna Reed. If I do, someone come and smack me, ok?
And I went to a mom-and-tot group at the library (where I restrained myself and only took out one book - after a $38 library fine, you'd restrain yourself too). The women were nice enough - not the kind of people I'm going to become bosom buddies with, but nice. I really just wanted The Boo to have some kids to play with and she enjoyed it, so I'll put up with it.
I have an article to write by the 27th. I hope to god I'm going to get it done. I get half a sentence written and then someone needs to be fed or played with or put down for a nap or something (damn, there's some needy people in this house). My train of thought keeps jumping the tracks.
TCBIM is on me to find some work to do from home - something I'll get paid for. I'd love to, but when am I going to do it? I'm looking into freelance writing stuff, but I have next to no experience, so anything I do will be for peanuts. Plus, y'know, when? Snatching five minutes here and there doesn't make for a very coherent article (as my current editor will probably be more than happy to verify). The other job option is in-bound customer service, but I can't even begin to tell you how much I don't want to do that. I am not a people person (no shit, Sherlock) and I can really see me telling some jerk to fuck off without too much provocation. A sleep-deprived new mother probably isn't the person you want answering phones for you. I may get just a wee bit cranky.
It's TCBIM's birthday in another 10 days. I'm not getting him anything. First, he said he didn't want anything. Second, he just bought a new flat screen monitor for the PC. Third, I'm STILL waiting for my Mother's Day and my 2005 birthday presents. The last reason is a bit juvenile and snotty, but it pisses me off. I wouldn't be so upset by this, but when my birthday (and Mother's Day) rolled around, he said "I haven't bought anything yet, but we'll go together this weekend and get it." This weekend still hasn't rolled around. Every time I mention it, I get an excuse. I really need new glasses and that's what I wanted for my birthday - I was trying to kill two birds, since my glasses are usually very expensive - and I'm still walking around with the same scratched up, three-years-out-of-date prescription. I'm a little bit angry about this still, can you tell? It really hurts my feelings when he does this shit, but when I say that, I get the eye-roll and the "Well, I'm not a gift person." Yeah, but I am a gift person. It doesn't have to be a big gift - a $5 gift that you put thought into is fine with me. Hell, make me a fucking mixed CD, that'd be great! It's that he doesn't think about it at all. It just never occurs to him to make the gesture. That's what hurts. That's what has me up at night, second guessing my life.
Anyway. Enough whining. Her Bad Mother had a great entry the other day about the physical love mothers feel for their children. I keep meaning to write something about it (and instead I whined - lovely). Go read hers, though. She always says things so much more eloquently than I ever could. And if you're not regularly reading her blog, what the hell is wrong with you? It's only fanTABulous.