Monday, January 15, 2007

Oy. And vey.

Do you remember me gloating over this little pecadillo? Yeah, well, I shouldn't have. Remind me, next time I start in with the schadenfreude to just knock that shit off, ok?

Here are the players, in case you're keeping score at home:
O = my daughter
P = O's dad, my ex-husband.
K = P's estranged, now re-stranged, wife.

O's father called her on Thursday and told her he was getting back together with his wife. To say that O took it badly would be putting it mildly. She sobbed. She raged. Her blood sugars went thru the roof.

We snuggled on her bed and talked a lot on Thursday evening. She does not want to see K, her dad's wife, ever again. I don't want her seeing K again. K, according to what P has told me, is a drunk. She locked O in her room once, when she was mad at her. I just found that one out a few weeks ago. P said that he'd found pot in her house. (Pot doesn't bother me, but it is illegal and I don't think O needs to be exposed to it at this point in her life. She's only 12.) P has said that K has thrown things at him. K had P arrested. It's a fucking mess. A mess. And I don't want O in the middle of that. O doesn't want to be in the middle of that.

So I called the guidance counsellor at her school. The counsellor agreed with me that O doesn't need to be subjected to that, that when O told her that her father was getting divorced, O was ecstatic. I told the counsellor what was going on now and she is going to talk to O tomorrow about it. In the meantime, I'm going to find a therapist for O to talk to as well.

Tonight, O told me that she was going to tell her dad that if he wanted to wreck his life by getting back together with K, then that was his business, but if he did, she, O, had no desire to see him any more. Ouch. I'm completely behind her on this, though. I think it may be bordering on dangerous to let O go over to that house.

O said that when her dad told her all this stuff, he just blurted it out and then basically hung up on her, never let her say anything in return. He hasn't called her since then. What a chicken shit.

I'm telling you, the fun never ends at Casa Bedhead.


Angewl said...

I am sorry O has to go through all of this. Like he has not put her through enough as it is.

Sounds like your little girl knows what she wants in this life and what she wants to be around and is sticking up for that. Way to go Mama!

Anonymous said...

I also say that if you have doubts about letting someone watch your kids you should always honor them.
It sounds like you're raising one level-headed and articulate girl.

LJ said...

I'm glad you refuse to allow O to be a caboose in the trainwreck of her father's life. I'm glad she's wise enough to see that as well. What a fine girl you are raising there. What a fine woman she'll become! Kudos to you!!

Shannon said...

I hate that O has to have a dad like Pee. And a stepmonster like K.

O doesn't deserve any of that crap.

Lyrehca said...

Oy vey indeed. Keep us posted.

OhTheJoys said...

I'm feeling for O. That really stinks.

Lara said...

boo. :( i have nothing unique or especially enlightened to add, but i'm sending you lots of supportive well wishes through the internet. boo to the whole situation.

Jess said...

I was meh on the whole thing (he's already proved he's an idiot, why should this be a surprise) but then I read the bit where he just informed O by over-talking her.

Son of a bitch. DOES he NOT get the POINT that his DAUGHTER is more important? HOW COWARDLY CAN HE BE?

I'm so sorry, J. (And O.) So sorry.

Sarah said...

It is unfortunate the other people's drama has to touch the children around them. That just sucks

I am actually doing a crock pot dinner tomorrow. Would have done it today but I got all screwed up this morning (and I don't mean drunk). The visual schedules will get easier as Sandis's OT is giong to start taking pictures of Sandis doing Daily tasks and will laminate them and give me a white board with velcro to velcro them up in order of whatever he is doing. So many of these things, outside of the home programming for OT and PT, will become easier with time. Just as the home programming will become easier once I qualify for a PCA (three thousand months from now...) Thanks for the good ideas over at my blog. I appreciate it.

art-sweet said...

O rocks. Tell her I said so. And she's a remarkable young woman, especially considering that some of her genetic material came from that man!

Bec said...

O does sound like a very sound and sensible girl - good luck with dealing with the extra delivery of crap!

Mother Hen said...

P sounds like a self absorbed wanker. is that too harsh? O is very lucky to have you. my husband had an emotionally non- existent father. in fact he wasn't even physically present. he'd occassionally appear in his life. it's quite upsetting. my hubby turned out to be the opposite. i'm sure O will manage well without him, she sounds as tho she has her head screwed on.

Christine said...

Yikes! It sounds like you are doing the right thing.