Thursday, January 25, 2007

How To Eat A Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich

by Boo, age two

First, hop up and down and tug on your mama's leg and yell "Butter jelly, butter jelly, butter jelly, mama!" over and over again. She will put you into your high chair. Try to avoid being buckled in because when you're buckled, you can't turn the light switch off and on and off and on and off and on. It's kind of fun to hear Mama yell "Boo! Sit down on your bum and stop that!" If she does buckle you in, you can always bang on the tray until the sandwich arrives.

When Mama puts the sandwich on your plate, take it apart and inspect it to make sure she made it correctly.



Then, give it a lick. Finally, take a bite out of the tip. Do this for each quarter of the sandwich.



After taking bites out of all the corners, scrub the sandwich in your hair. This will make your hair stick up in new and interesting ways. It will also make Mama shriek and yell "No, Boo! I just washed your hair!" Of course, by that time, it will be too late. The jelly will be a sticky mess and the peanut butter will have gunked up good.



Inspect the crusts to make sure they are of equal size.



Mash them all over your high chair tray and tell Mama "I cleanin', Mama." Watch her put her hands over her eyes and sigh heavily.



Then rub the rest of the crusts all over your hands, paying particular attention to the bits in between your fingers and getting under each and every fingernail. Listen to Mama sob as she gets a washcloth and paper towels.





I do clean up nicely, though.

26 comments:

Shannon said...

This "How to Eat a PB&J Sandwich" manual has made its rounds apparently. This is precisely how my kids have eaten theirs at her age.

mark said...

Very sweet. I haven't eaten lunch yet, so maybe I'll give boo's instructions a try today.

Laura said...

cute, and I Love Boo's Shirt. I need to get one ( I am a Klutz)

julia said...

shannon - my other two didn't do that, that I remember.

mark - I would like pictures if you do. Please.

laura - They sell them in adult sizes. Try Hot Topic or PacSun.

Andrea said...

At least she didn't get that awesome shirt all messy and need to change. That's a going out in public shirt.

Andrea

Nicole P said...

So funny. And she is just gorgeous. My little buddy.

Erica said...

Ditto the awesome shirt! Where did you find it in boo-size?

Jenn said...

Thank you for those instructions. I now know I have been eating my PB&J wrong for all these years!! Too cute!!

She is ADORABLE btw!!

Chris said...

HOLY ADORABLE.!!!!

Penny said...

Oh, that was so cute!!

floreksa said...

Substitute A for Boo (and assuming A would actually, heaven forbid EAT) and that's pretty much how every one of A's meals go.

Thanks for the laugh. I needed it.

Oh, I too, LOVE the shirt. What a cutie.

Oh, The Joys said...

Those are some AWFULLY CUTE photos, Bedhead!

I don't want to embarass him on my blog, but The Mayor can't eat bread. He presses it to his face and takes little divets out of it with his front teeth, but he can't figure out to, you know, put it perpendicular to his mouth and take a regular bite.

So sad.

Lara said...

oh thank God you posted this, because i have been wondering for years how to eat PB&J correctly. julia, please thank your girly for me. thanks. :)

Rachel said...

this is what I'm missing? sigh. (yes, the ovaries are screaming this month.)

mark said...

I had PB&J for lunch, but I think I ruined the pictures when I tried to wash the PB&J out of the camera. Sorry.

Chrissie in Belgium said...

Well I seem to be eating my peanutbutter+spinach+lettuce sandwishes ALL WRONG! For Linn, my grandaughter, her book says 1. open the sandwich 2. lick off the jelly,And then the final 3. Dissect, mush and squeeze.....

Sandra Miller said...

Most instructive. :-)

Julia, Boo is just adorable... and I too am lovin' that shirt!

I think Evan needs one.

julia said...

The shirt is from Target. The boy's section, because apparently little girls can't wear black t-shirts. My eyes, they roll.

Kevin said...

Mmmmm.... PB&J....
I like chunky best.

Angela said...

Love this post! Love the narration and the pictures!

She is absolutely adorable!!!

Savannah refuses to eat a sandwich. I have gotten a grilled cheese into her a few times, but thats it. She sure doesnt know what she is missing!

Mamma Sarah said...

Great post!

Kerri. said...

Awesome post. And that little Boo is so damn cute!!

thethinker said...

Aww.. how adorable. I love her shirt too.

bethany said...

she's adorable ... and this made me laugh so hard - thanks for sharing!

mark said...

I did have PB & J for lunch, but I didn't get any pictures. Boo's instructions were fun though, and everyone wanted to know what was in my hair the rest of the day.

Kelsey said...

OMG is she adorable!

I love PB&J too... but I've never tried Boo's delightful way of eating them... well not for several years anyway :)