Saturday, January 06, 2007

Major Bedhead meets General Malaise

I'm starting to get sick of myself. I feel like all I do is complain on here and I hate that. I don't want to be that person whose blog you dread reading, who gives you a feeling of dread when you see it's been updated because you just know it's going to be some new tale of woe.

I want to post funny things and happy things and goofy things and ranty things about politics and government and the Red Sox. I don't want to keep posting about all the crap that's going on over here. But I can't seem to find the funny or happy or goofy or even the ranty. It's just sort of gone, lost in this ennui that may be from the new anti-depressant or may be from all the craptastic shit that's been going on, or both.

I'm not taking a break, I just don't have much to say right now. I'm barely reading the blogs I like and I'm hardly commenting and it's making me feel a bit guilty. I'm feeling very down and my brain feels full of cotton wool. I'm having a hard time working up any enthusiasm for anything and it's difficult to string together coherent thoughts. If I wrote what was going thru my brain, you'd probably have me committed. It all just sort of sucks and I'm sick of the suckage.

15 comments:

Sharon said...

My guess? Both the drug AND the shit. Either one of those by itself would throw me into a tailspin- and you got 'em both.
Hope things pick up for you soon.

LauraJ said...

well i'm still here, and i'm still reading if that counts for anything.
i'm having a hard time blogging lately. i have every intents and purposes to do everday and then a little voice says who cares about this drivel you are about to type? so then i don't blog. and the days go on and on
anyway i'm rambling as i'm good to do. big hugs and hang in there you'll blog when the time comes. and i dont mind what you blog about, i am thrilled when you blog even if it's craptastic! at least i know you are okay for the most part, you can still blog.

Barefoot said...

I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes it's good to step back and get perspective. Don't let 'em steal your happy!

SUEB0B said...

Yes, yes, I get so sick of myself and my own brain, too.

terrilynn said...

I've been in your shoes. A little time off does help shift perspective, but it's hard nonetheless.

I hope things are looking better for you very soon.

Oh, The Joys said...

You don't have to entertain...I will still come.

Scott K. Johnson said...

Hey J,

We love reading whatever it is you write. And even though you may feel that all you write is complaints and stuff, you DO find ways of mixing in the humor, and you do it well.

Don't worry about the blogging. The reading OR writing. It is not supposed to be another source of stress in your life. It is supposed to be an outlet, helping you feel LESS stressed.

Don't worry, just take it as it comes.

izzy said...

I do so understand what you mean, although with me it's more likely from a NEED for antidepressants. In any case, stay with us, k? It will pass and I'll keep reading :)

In Search Of Balance said...

I agree with Scott. Your blog is great; I'll come here to read whatever it is you want to write, and gladly.

And I hope that you feel better soon. :)

asskeeper said...

Julia,
I love you blog. I don't feel you are constantly complaining. I love the stories you tell and even when you are complaining. I can understand why. Enjoy your break. I will be waiting for you to return.

art-sweet said...

{{Julia the key for the end of your name is not working on my computer}}jby

Joke said...

Ah...but if you don't write, how will I know what crazy thing to send you next?

Stop and think about that, young lady.

-J.

julia said...

I'm not stopping blogging, I just probably won't be my witty, pithy, pissy self for a bit. But, y'know, I'm willing to give it a try. For the presents. :D

Erica said...

I think we all go through that with blogging. Coming up with posts comes in waves for me anyway. Some days I have 3 ideas or I could (and did - ha!) go for months. I don't feel like you are complaining too much either...

graymama said...

Your blog is for you, right?! It should be whatever you need/want it to be.

{{{{julia}}}}
I will always be reading and thinking of you :-)