Wednesday, January 24, 2007

If it's not one thing, it's your mother.

My mother comes over on Wednesdays, ostensibly to help me for the day with the babies and to visit. Usually, however, these visits entail me having to wait on her hand and foot.

"If you'd make some tea, I'd be happy to drink some." Sure, I'd love some fresh tea. I've only reheated mine four times now.

"There are some bags in the back of my car that you could get." This while I'm trying to nurse the Bug and trying to stop Boo from squeezing the cat to death/colouring on the walls/eating crayons.

"What can you fix me for lunch?" Half-eaten mac & cheese. Half-eaten peanut butter & jelly. Half-eaten apples and cheese. Are you sensing a half-eaten theme here?

"How about a glass of water?" How about one?

"When are you going to move those boxes/set up Boo's bed/put up the playpen?" Shut. Up.

"I wish you'd re-arrange your bedroom the way I think it should be." I'll get right on that - I mean, really, I have nothing else to do.

"Do you want me to buy you a new dish drainboard? I just hate yours." Um, NO, mother. I LIKE it and YOU never do dishes. And, hello? MY house. Mine.

It's driving me crazy. How do I confront her about this, though? I mean, she's driving an hour out here, once a week. But this prima donna routine is getting old. I am so frazzled with taking care of the babies and O and TCBIM, who is now working TWO jobs, so is really never, ever, ever home, that I cannot add an able-bodied adult to the mix. I just can't. No amount of "Could you please get it yourself? I'm rather busy right now," does any good. She just says "I'll wait."

Seriously, people, I'm losing my mind.

In other news, I am going to New York City at the end of March and I cannot fucking WAIT! Cannot. Wait. I need a break so badly that it's not funny. I'm taking O, but leaving the babies home with TCBIM. Hah. HAH! Wait, what's that I'm feeling? I do believe it's glee. Yes. Glee. That would about cover it.

Ahhhhh. New York City. How do I love thee?


mark said...

Good luck with your mother. That's tough. I know people like that - I try to spin it on them, but I can't think of an example. Also, have an Awesome trip to NYC! I've never been but I really want to.

Allison said...

Maybe you should say, "The teabags are in the drawer and the cups are in the lefthand cupboard. Help yourself."

Geez that's annoying! I'm annoyed and I'm 3,000 miles away!

OhTheJoys said...

My Dad came down to "help" when Rooster was born. The first morning he walked up to me with his empty coffee cup and said "The Coffee's all gone...???!!!"

I had been up 147,911 times the night before and I just WENT OFF.

I not only told him to make the GD coffee himself, but that this wasn't a hotel and that if this was his idea of helping us with the kids than he could pack his sh*t up and head back north.


Did I mention about how little sleep I had?

Anyway, he proceeded to do all the laundry, clean the stove (which I had NEVER done), make dinner and perform MANY other useful chores while here.

Therefore, I recommend the going ballistic approach.

floreksa said...

That would drive me insane. Thankfully my mother knows where the tea, the cups and the kettle are, cause if she's waiting for me, it's gonna be a long wait!

Have fun in NYC!

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

pppsssttt....send me your mom's address and I will send her a letter!

If you do not want to do that, I would call her up before she leaves, give her a list of things that she can pick up at the store. Then, when she gets to your house, tell her that you are just SWAMPED with things to do and here is HER list of things to be done.

Then tell her what you would like for lunch while she is out getting you that new drain board.


Turn the cannot be used unless you let yourself be used.

Andrea said...

I was going to suggest Oh The Joys' approach. Blow up. Yell. Let it all out. Don't be afraid of your mother. Tell her if this is her brand of help, then you don't need the extra aggravation and send her back home.

My mom came to visit right after Gabe was born and even though she's stayed in my house multiple times a year, she was still in "guest mode" instead of "grandma mode" so I had to tell her the second or third day that we were still getting used to the baby and that we really needed her to step in and get her own lunch, make her own coffee, and whatnot. I can't remember if I yelled or not, (I think I was pretty snotty though) but after that, she was indispensable. I would have forgotten to eat if she hadn't been there to put dinner right in front of me.

And I only have 1 kid.


Erica said...

sheesh! A lot of help that is... I heard something on the radio that i completely agree with "...the relationships we have with our mothers are usually among the most dysfunctional."

That rocks about NYC! Do you guys have a lot planned or are you going to wing it?

Angewl said...

How annoying. The going ballistic sounds like it may work. lol

Have a great time in NY!!