Monday, January 23, 2006

Needed: One Swift Kick In The Arse




I need to start logging O’s blood sugars again. I don’t know why I got out of the habit, but now I have no idea what’s going on, pattern-wise, and I’m just reacting to the most recent bg reading instead of trying to figure out if it’s a trend that needs to be addressed with basal/bolus rate corrections.

I don’t seem to have any motivation to do this, though. I have been saying for months that I need to load the pump software onto the PC, but I’ve yet to do it. I bought a bunch of log books, but I haven’t used one since well before Christmas. I just can’t seem to muster up any energy to do any of this right now. This has been an on-going problem, not just since TCBIM started to flake out.

O hates logging her own information and point-blank refuses to do it. It’s kind of hard for me to get all over her about it when I won’t even do it myself, so I need some sort of goad to get myself going. I feel terrible that I’m not doing it, but does that change anything? Nope.

Le sigh.

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My other quandry: How the hell do you go about finding a good marriage counsellor? I mean, really. What the fuck? How do I know if they’re any good? I hate the thought of going to twelve different people and telling my story to each and every one of them. It just sucks. This is why I don’t go to therapy any more – I can’t find anyone that I can click with, so I just keep taking my medication and hoping that things will be ok. I fear I'm headed for disaster.

3 comments:

Kerri. said...

What meter does Olivia use? My One Touch Ultra Smart has downloadable software from the website. It's decent enough for creating a logbook. And it's completely worth the perusal.

Good luck!

Jamie said...

My first suggestion about finding a good marriage counsellor is actually talking to your family doctor - I'm sure he/she can make a few suggestions - and if not, they would know how to go about finding a good one.

I'm sorry you're going through all of this. Pregnancy hormones really don't help either *sigh*. Is he willing to seek help for this?

What a sucked out position for you to be in right now. I hope a good counsellor comes your way and things start looking up for you - you SO deserve it.

julia said...

Kerri - she's using the BD that came with the Minimed. I prefer the Ultra Smart and just sent in for a free one (free! Yay!), but I have 900 BD test strips on order, so for the next three months, we'll have to use that. I'll have to talk to O and see if she wants to switch back.

Jamie - I don't have a primary care doctor right now. I'm in the process of changing over to a new one because my last one sucked. He's willing to do whatever it takes, he says. We've talked a ton this weekend and I do feel a bit more optimistic about things, but I still think we could benefit from a few sessions.

I did want to say thank you to everyone for all the supportive posts the other day. It's been really helpful and really very touching to read so many nice words.