Monday, January 23, 2006
Needed: One Swift Kick In The Arse
I need to start logging O’s blood sugars again. I don’t know why I got out of the habit, but now I have no idea what’s going on, pattern-wise, and I’m just reacting to the most recent bg reading instead of trying to figure out if it’s a trend that needs to be addressed with basal/bolus rate corrections.
I don’t seem to have any motivation to do this, though. I have been saying for months that I need to load the pump software onto the PC, but I’ve yet to do it. I bought a bunch of log books, but I haven’t used one since well before Christmas. I just can’t seem to muster up any energy to do any of this right now. This has been an on-going problem, not just since TCBIM started to flake out.
O hates logging her own information and point-blank refuses to do it. It’s kind of hard for me to get all over her about it when I won’t even do it myself, so I need some sort of goad to get myself going. I feel terrible that I’m not doing it, but does that change anything? Nope.
My other quandry: How the hell do you go about finding a good marriage counsellor? I mean, really. What the fuck? How do I know if they’re any good? I hate the thought of going to twelve different people and telling my story to each and every one of them. It just sucks. This is why I don’t go to therapy any more – I can’t find anyone that I can click with, so I just keep taking my medication and hoping that things will be ok. I fear I'm headed for disaster.