Wednesday, June 13, 2007

THAT kid

Sweet suffering mother of fuck. I'm going to swear a lot in this post. You have been warned.

Boo was THAT kid today. You know the one. In Target, with her mother, screaming blue fucking murder because her mother had the audacity to put her in a shopping carriage. Crying with huge, wracking sobs and fat, dripping tears because her mother dared to stop the carriage and peruse the greeting cards. Shrieking because her mother hauled her little butt out of the shopping carriage and marched her back to the car.

And now, that kid is in her room, screaming. Again. She has thrown all of her binkies out of her crib. I can't find them and I won't look for them. The last time she threw it, she was told if she did it again, she'd do without. Same thing for the cup of water.

I swear to god, I am this close to losing it. For the last two days, she's been nothing but defiant. She doesn't talk any more, she screams. If I don't LEAP up to do whatever it is she wants done, she has a fucking meltdown of epic proportions. She's driving. me. infuckingsane.

And The Bug isn't sleeping. Still. I bought some herbal crap that's supposed to help babies stay asleep. Yeah, that was ten fucking dollars down the drain. She was up at 11 p.m., 2 a.m., 3:30 a.m., 5 a.m. and 6:30 a.m., when I gave up and got up for the day. It's making me miserable and cranky and the demon-spawn of a two year-old isn't helping one fucking iota.

Tomorrow I get to take the whole fucking circus to my father's, where childproofing isn't necessary and the slightest dust mote is met with cries of horror. Fanfuckingtastic.

I need a fucking drink.

That will do very nicely. I'll have eleventy-two, please, barkeep.


Jamie said...


I wish I could give you a real one :(

Sleep would help you out a lot with this - I wish I had an answer for you :(

Zazzy said...

Plain old insomnia is bad enough. I can't imagine trying to care for screaming children during it. Get some respite before you do lose it. Do you have a friend who could sit while you go somewhere else and sleep?

Lara said...

i'd let you hit me if that would help you get out some frustration. (really, i'm tough, i can take it.)

instead, i think you should just scream really loudly.

Anonymous said...

My two year old doesn't sleep either . I feel your pain. this is kid #4 that hasn't slept until age three. I keep telling myself it will come to an end as i down another adult beverage.
i know we could put them in a room together at night. They can play and we can sleep.

OhTheJoys said...

I don't have any patience with mine when they get like that. Is that wrong?

Paige said...

oh god. i'm sorry.

Major Bedhead said...

OTJ - I don't either. I'm not very proud of the way I acted with her today.

zazzy - I'll sleep eventually. Some day.

lara - I did. I'm sure the neighbours will have CPS on speed dial any day now.

mrs. fun - pick a room. I'll show up.

jamie - Do you know how to get a 10 month-old to stay asleep?

Paige - thanks.

I still need that drink....

Shannon said...

You need mommy's little helpers.

Some Vicodin and a stiff drink.

Hang in there Julia.

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Maybe it's a low pressure system or something because Chicky has been the same. I took her into the Gap so I could buy a new bra and you would have thought - from the outside of the dressing room - that I was pulling her toenails out.

Hang in there, hon. It can't last forever. Right? Right???

Oh my Christ, I think I'll join you in that drink.

Angewl said...

My older kids are THOSE kids. The ones others stare at and shake their heads because they have no home training. sigh.... I just don't know what to do anymore.

I have no suggestions. The drink did look appealing.


floreksa said...

Oh dear lord! There must be something in the air. I was *this close* to hog tying A and shoving her in a closet. And I was with her for a whopping 5 minutes.

If you go out and scream, I'll join ya! We'll probably hear each other.

Anonymous said...

Have you thought about taking her to the pediatrician? Maybe she's ill and can't express it other than screaming.

moosh in indy. said...

When mine is that naughty she's not a she anymore, she's an it. Lame but coping mechanisms usually are.

Stomper Girl said...

I'd be swearing too! And drinking. The best advice I ever had is that to a toddler, any attention is good attention, even if it involves a shrieking mother. We have the 'naughty room' at our house and that's where they go until the behaviour subsides, in other words, I can ignore them til they're ready to function as humans again. But managing that stuff in public is virtually impossible, as every parent knows!!

Stomper Girl said...

PS sorry if I sounded like SuperNanny back there! I really hope you get a break in all this.

Major Bedhead said...

Anon- she's not sick, she's two.

Stomper - You didn't sound like SuperNanny. I do put her in her room if she's behaving like that at home. That's why I left the store - I couldn't get her stop screaming. It was either leave or I'd start screaming, too.

Shannon - Vicodin makes me loopy.

Mrs. Chicky - You might have something there - the weather improved and so did Boo's mood. Somewhat.

karrie said...

I had that kid in Costco yesterday, if it is any consolation. Good thing it was a Costco without a booze section!

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain ... sorry!

I wish I had some words of wisdom regarding Boo - but sometimes the only thing that will get me through those kinds of days is a good stiff drink.

With Bug, you may or may not want to try this - but my mom told me about it when my little guy wouldn't sleep through the night and it worked like a charm. I just put a little bit of Gerbers Rice Cereal in his night-time bottle and wha-la ... he slept through the night ever since! Well, until he got a bit older and decided sleeping wasn't any fun, that is.

Erin M said...

mmm eleventy-two

KPB said...

the notion of being "that kid" is perfect - in that it encapsulates what an absolute shit they're being while also acknowledging it isn't permanent. This fact is the hard thing for me when any or all of the boys are being "that" one.

And wanting a drink, my GOODNESS I am so looking forward to it.