Thursday, March 15, 2007

And it rained like a slow divorce

(name that tune)

So my head is coming detached from my body. During the day, I'm fine, but starting around 5 p.m., I feel like someone is stuffing my skull with latex bladders. As the evening progresses, the bladders fill up with stuff. Maybe a little helium, maybe a little pseudoephedrine, maybe a little pot and whiskey. By the time 11 p.m. rolls around, I'm feeling decidedly fucked up and this is without having had anything alcoholic to drink or pot to smoke. It's very strange. Oh, and my face feels puffy. It isn't puffy, it just feels that way. My ears are a bit wonky, too. Things get loud and then soft and sometimes there's a hum. And my fingers are stiff.

I'm calling the doctor tomorrow. This isn't normal, but seriously, what do I say to her? I feel high, only I'm not? I feel like I've taken too much cold medicine, but I haven't had any?

Very weird. I'm not even on any medication right now, so I can't blame it on that, either. I'm doing this all on my own. Aren't I clever?

It's even weirder that I'm finding it all a bit hysterical. It makes me giggle a lot. I guess that's the high thing (I'm pleading the fifth on how I know what that feels like...I went to college. And Dave Matthews shows.).


Anonymous said...

When you figure that out, you write a book about it, and sell it and make billions. Julia's all nautral drug and alcohol free way of getting high. Don't forget the legal disclaimers. Good luck at the doctor.

Joke said...

Can you drive?


Lara said...

someone's secretly pumping your house full of nitrous oxide. i'm certain that's what it is. who do you think might want to do that? let's start a list of suspects...

TSM Oregon said...

Hmmm...definately something to keep an eye on. I'm curious about the doc's response. Let us know!