I got this email late last night:
Hey Major BedHead,
While sitting at (local Irish bar) last night I brought up the random subject of whether I should stop following " " on twitter. To which everyone immediately said YES! It was funny because your so well known for being a super tweeter - to the point of annoyance. So I decided I will stop following you. Even though I hate un-friending anyone.
Just thought you should know why I stopped following, and how famous you are around town.
btw, Congrats on becoming a Grandma
My initial reaction was to fire off an email saying "Well that's a slap in the face, but whatever floats your boat," so that's what I did. But then I went to bed and started thinking about it.
People in town find me annoying. People who only know me via Twitter. People who I'm not even sure are following me. Nonetheless, they find me annoying.
This, of course, has fueled my paranoia that everyone I know must find me annoying. It makes me want to stay in my house and never talk to anyone again. It's going to make me second guess everything that comes out of my mouth for a while, that's for sure.
I cried about this for a while, which is pathetic. But it stung. Really stung.
This morning I woke up thinking about it. Maybe I do post too often on Twitter. I'm home with two toddlers and a 15 year old all day. For most of the time, the only adult interaction I have is with people on Twitter, so I am guilty of posting on there quite frequently during the day. I can leave the window open and pop on and off while I'm doing things around the house and make a comment or two. Sometimes people respond, sometimes they don't. I like it.
I still think the email was a shitty thing to send. Unfollow me if you want, but to tell me that you're doing it because your friends told you to and that you all find me annoying smacks of junior high school cliquishness. The person who sent the email is really involved in town improvement issues, which was something I was hoping to be able to get into, too, but if this is the way they are, I don't want to now. I tried to play that joining-in game in high school and college and failed at it because I wasn't cool enough or something. I'm too old to do that again. My self-esteem doesn't need the bruising either.
I hate this shit. I hate that my ego is so fragile that something like this sends me into a tailspin. I hate knowing that people find me annoying because that's not my intention at all. Mostly I hate that this has changed my mind about getting involved in town stuff. I was really looking forward to that. I love where I live and I was hoping to help out in some small way with the improvement efforts that are going on.
And whoever wrote that little sticks and stones ditty was full of shit. Words do hurt. A lot.