Monday, January 18, 2010

Hanging On By A Thread

She doesn't listen.

If I tell her not to do something, she does it as soon as the words leave my mouth.

She touches things she's not supposed to touch, like the computer and the camera and the knives.

She poops in her closet.

She wets her bed every night.

She's defiant. She glares and stomps her feet and screams and shrieks at me.

She's destructive. She rips up books and papers and colors on the walls and herself and her sister. She's cut her sister's hair so many times that The Bug has a pixie cut now. She breaks her toys and her crayons and anything she can get her hands on. I can't leave her alone in a room for 30 seconds or she will destroy things.

I cannot handle her at all.

I'm working with a doctor about this and have enrolled her in a study but oh my holy hell, I am losing my mind with this child. She needs full time school or full time day care or something. Something more than I can give her. It depresses the hell out of me that I can't seem to figure this child out.


Audrey at Barking Mad said...

Oh sweetie! I know how hard this must have been to put out there. From talking to you in the past I know you've really been struggling with this.

I've been thinking about you a lot and hoping you get some answers soon from the dr.'s you're working with. I know, for you, it can't come soon enough - but I hope it does.

I don't know what else to say except to let you know what I have before...I'm here if you ever need to talk, vent, cry, scream...whatever. I'm here.


Jess said...

I'm so, so sorry.

You've turned to professionals to help -that alone says to me that you're doing everything you can and leaving no stone unturned.

I wish I lived closer. You deserve a drink.

April said...

I'm SO sorry you're going through this. I hope the study helps and you can get some answers. ((hugs))

Patois42 said...

I'm so sorry. I had many, many issues with my girl. She was the quietest, sweetest thing ever. And then she wasn't. For a long time. I hope you get some answers so damn soon. Having an explanation went far for me, for us.

LJ said...

Poor you, poor girl. She probably doesn't understand herself either. I wish the best for both of you!

sarahtoo said...

Man, I'm sorry that you and Boo are struggling so! Sounds like you're doing all you can, though--I hope you find answers soon!

Rachel said...

I hope this study helps, or something helps. soon.

OhTheJoys said...

That sounds really, really hard, friend. Thinking of you and wishing you support and resolution.


ree said...

I have no words of wisdom for you, but know that I'm thinking of you and sending you virtual hugs.

Angela said...

J, you may not want to hear this.

But... I've been where you are. Although it didn't start until he was 4, but I KNOW it can start sooner. Have you checked with a psychiatrist? I went through a LOT of what you're going through.

I wrote this:

and this:

and also this:

The first one is the one I'm most interested in you reading. (Please don't judge my grammer and writing too harshly. lol)

It does sound like you're doing everything you possibly can.


Angela said...

I also want to add, that I didn't put everything in there that I could have. I thought what I put was bad enough without putting that he was wiping poop on the walls.

If you ever want to discuss this more, please let me know.


Kelly said...

I'm hoping you find something that helps you..both of you.