Monday, March 31, 2008

Drip. Drip. Drip.

As soon as I wake up, it starts.

The whining.

The crying.

The shrieking at me or her sister or the cat or the fucking dust bunnies.

Doesn't matter.

She's going to yell.

After the yelling comes the tears and tantrums.

Again and again and again.

Whatever I ask her to do, she refuses.

And generally stomps her feet while doing so.

Whatever she's given to eat is, 9 times out of 10, refused.

And then thrown on the floor.

She asks for a drink and as I'm getting up to get it, starts screaming because it's not instantaneously in front of her.

She hits me. She hits her little sister. She hits the cat. She hits the fucking dust bunnies.

I find myself clenching my teeth and hissing thru them, at her, quite often.

I also find my shoulders up around my ears.

By the end of the day, I've usually cried, at least once.

By the end of the day, she's cried countless times. And spent quite a bit of time in her room.

Where she screams some more.

And cries a lot.

That Canadian Boy I Married tries to help but he works.

A lot.

Often into the evening.

It's the nature of his job and there's nothing he, or I, can do about it.

I don't know how much more of this I can take before I completely lose my fucking mind.

I try to talk to friends about it.

The ones with kids get it, but have no advice; most of them are going thru similar things.

The ones without kids laugh at me.

Which makes me want to rip their heads off, boil their skulls and use them for drinking vessels.

You think I'm joking.

Not so much.

This may very well be the death of me.


LJ said...

Can you have her evaluated for some sensory issues? I'm sure she's going through typical normal 3 year old stuff. I'm sorry it's driving you nuts. At the moment I hear someone sobbing in his room for who knows what!!

Jess said...

Oh, Julia. I'm so sorry.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Bach Rescue Remedy. Hyland's Nerve Tonic. For Both of you. Also, I love the Eat Right 4 Your Type books. She might have food allergies. They can make you kind of crazy. I'm not saying that your daughter is but mine was! We survived. Hoping your week gets better. Sending big hugs!

Stomper Girl said...

Yep. Three is scary. Have you got a toddler taming book with some tips?

Unknown said...


Do you want me to take her for an afternoon and give you some time off? I'd be happy to. Fridays are good for us. Let me know.

PS Just so you don't think I'm some freak, it's Leslie from bookclub.

Anonymous said...

Amazingly enough, this too shall pass.

I remember nearly passing out from exhaustion and pure the mega-store trying to buy shoes...when the tantrums hit.

Three sucks. Way worse than 2.

Lara said...

oh lady, if i could babysit for you to give you a break, i would. i don't have kids, but i do understand to a certain extent, because i've worked through some awful phases as a nanny. working with one of my kids now, we had about a month in a row of hitting, screaming, kicking, pinching, shouting, etc. he completely slapped me in the face a couple times too, and left a series of little scars on the back of my hand with his nails. but we worked through it, and now he respects my authority and we are able to talk through things.

but the reason that i could do that is because i got breaks from him when i felt like i couldn't take it anymore. i got to go home at night, and spend my weekends alone. take any help you can get just to get some breaks - it'll sustain you and give you the patience you need to work with her through the screaming and crying, so that it won't be like this forever.

and know that we're here supporting you - even if we're really far away.

Shannon said...

We've gone through that stage. It will pass. It's all about riding the wave. Sometimes I took a little something to calm my nerves. I don't want to say what I took in public.

I like that skull cup. Does it come in a coffee mug version, do you think?

Lea said...

I never understood why people make such a big whoop over the Terrible Two's when the Frigging God-Awful Three's are so. much. worse.
I don't have any great advice, but consistency with time outs (Supernanny style) saved us when Noah went through his spell. At first we felt like mean awful parents because he was in time out all the time. After a while he realized we weren't giving in, and time outs became less frequent.
Hang in there, I know it sucks but it will not last!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry. That's hard, and it stinks--especially when you have a few other kids demanding time and attention too, and no one to help, really.

I'd help if I were closer. Hang in there.

Joke said...

I know what you're going through. Age 3 is when NTS's autism really started to show itself.

My wife was horrified, but when I was the SAHD, I dealt with it with headphones. If he was going to scream bloody murder for ANYTHING, I saw no reason* to listen to him.


* I was NOT a pretty parent to a tantrum-y toddler -- say that three times fast -- and if when he threw his food down I'd leave him without eating until dinner. When I reheated the lunch stuff. Somehow he ate it just fine then.

The approach I suggest is like Christopher Guest's in the "rack" scene of The Princess Bride.

Anonymous said...

There's a book on the market called Your Spirited Child (I believe) and it's on Amazon. I know Blog Antagonist recommended it highly for when she read it to deal with her youngest son. Maybe there are some tips in it that could help. I don't know, because I haven't read it, but I have read other parents with brigh yet defiant children swear by it.

I hope you can find some peace. If I were even close enough to drive for an hour, I'd come over and give you a break. That's the thing that sucks most about blogging: long distance friendships mean it's harder to help in times like this.

Josie said...

Julia, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm unfortuantely way out of the toddler years but if you ever need some to talk to, you have my email.

Take care.