Sunday, December 02, 2007

Verily, It Doth Sucketh. A Lot-eth.

I honestly don't know what to do with Boo. In the last week, she has:
  • emptied all the drawers in her dresser at each nap time, flinging clothes all over the room,
  • climbed up the drawers to stand on top of her dresser.
  • climbed down the drawers, pulling the dresser down and hitting herself in the head with a drawer (no blood drawn there).
  • emptied the diaper pail - the full diaper pail - all over her bedroom.
  • took all the wipes out of the container and scrubbed the floor with all of them. All 200 of them.
  • scaled the four foot high gate that's on her door - the one with no horizontal bars.
  • figured out how to loosen the straps and undo the top buckle on her car seat, thus allowing herself to very nearly get out of said car seat.
She whines incessantly. When she's not whining, she's yelling. When she's not yelling, she crying. She has about 10 good minutes a day. The rest of the time is spent tormenting her baby sister, getting into things she shouldn't get into or having a temper tantrum because it's time to eat/time to go/or the fucking wind is blowing the wrong way. I loathe this kind of shit. It makes my blood boil, it makes me want to scream at her and it takes away most of my enjoyment of motherhood. In short, it sucks ass.

I have removed everything from her room, 1. because I don't want her to kill herself and 2. because I'm sick of picking up everything two and three times a day. It gets old. Her dresser is on the landing, along with her diapers, wipes and diaper pail. There's nothing in her closet except stuff on a shelf that's 6 feet off the floor. I'm seriously considering just putting the toddler bed up and taking the crib out - she never stays in the crib anyway. I'll put a couple of stuffed animals in there for her, blankets, pillow, that sort of thing, but that's it.

She's in a pre-school program that meets 2 or 3 times a week, depending on the week. She goes to a play group once a week. It's not like she's sitting around the house with nothing to do. She paints, she colours, she does little craft projects, but everything is a huge whine fest. She cannot stand to wait - if I tell her to hold on, she has a meltdown. If I tell her it's time to go/time for lunch/time for bed, she has a meltdown. If I tell her to stop hitting her sister, she has a meltdown.

I honestly am at my wits end with this child. People laugh when I tell them what she does, but it's really got me at the end of my tether. I don't like feeling this way about my kid.


BookMamma said...

I read all the time and promise to comment more often!
I am SO sorry to hear you are having a rough time with Boo...that really sucks. I have a not-quite three year old and the past few months I have felt like throwing him out the window. every. single. day. All I can say is he straightened out literally over night. It's like he decided it was too much trouble all the sudden... I really have no idea why (or how long it will last!!) but I'm not arguing about it.
In the meantime, I know you are a reader and I'm a librarian. When I thought I was going to lose it these books helped. (I got to read them on the toilet, as you know the ONLY place you are likely to get some peace and quiet... if you're lucky.)
Try Kevin Leman's "How to Make Your Kids Mind Without Losing Yours" or "Outwitting Toddlers" by Bill Adler or "Whining: Three Ways to Stop it Before Tears and Tantrums Start" by Audrey Ricker.
Not that reading is going to solve all your problems; sometimes they can make them worse if you overanalyze, but I needed SOMETHING to give me fresh ideas on what to do. I read lots more books than the three I listed, but those were the only ones that seemed to work for me.
Good luck. Keep writing. Boo WILL wake up one day and decide it's just not worth it.

Anonymous said...

How about applying for the SuperNanny to come and help?

Washington Crunchy Mama said...

I'm sorry ~ you know I don't have advice because I have the exact same child here :) Just letting you know you're not alone. Hang in there.

Whirlwind said...

*Hugs*! I feel for you. You described Moe the mischief maker to a T. I can't tell you how many days I wanted to pull my hair out with her. Not to mention I couldn't take her to playgroups as she was too rough and those were my only saving grace for the day.

Hang in there, it gets better! Moe IS starting to calm down (this change happened right after she turned three) but still has her moments. Just the other day she scaled my kitchen cabinets to blow out a candle (I shudder to think what could have happened if she dropped it on her self from above). She too also liked to remover her seat buckle but has basically stopped that (I say basically because the moment I stop the car - drivethroughs and what not- she does it).

Your not alone!

Anonymous said...

Wow! All three year olds are exactly the same, aren't they?! And I guess there isn't the mother of a three year old out there who doesn't want to scream bloody hell on a daily basis! There are times I'd like to jump out a window... but we don't have a second floor right now... I'll just have to wait until the addition gets done.

We should have a three year old support group... "HI, my name is themommykelly. I am the mother of a three year old" Ugh!

Shannon said...

It's exhausting to keep up with the kids' antics.

I'm not laughing at what you wrote because I've been there and wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Other than tying her to a treadmill or locking her in a cage, I really have no other advice than to just ride the wave.

floreksa said...

daycare likes to tell me "if they're horrible now, they'll make great teenagers".

I'm not sure I believe her, but I find myself enjoying work more and more lately.

Anonymous said...

There's also a book I know that Blog Antagonist recommended with her youngest son, called Raising Your Spirited Child> and while I'm not positive that fits with what's going on, I'd bet there are some helpful tips in there for toddlers. It sounds like Boo is very willful and maybe what you need is just a way to channel her energy and possibly learn tricks to teach her how to channel her energy on her own when you can't drop everything right. this. second. to do her bidding.

Gabe is three now, and while he's a bit challenging right now in the listening/selective hearing department, he's very rarely quite that defiant, so I'm at a loss to offer any kind of helpful advice. But I can be a friend and listen, so if you need to rant, rant away. Email me if you don't want to rant on the blog again.


LJ said...


Anonymous said...

Everyone is right - this too shall pass. My now four year old, the youngest of three, damn near killed me. Turned every hair on my head gray AND made my face break out. This went on from 1.5 through 3.5 or thereabouts. Nowadays, she's more quirky than challenging. She says things like, "OK, mom, if you say so." Better than "I love you" if you ask me.

So hang in there friend.

moosh in indy. said...

I don't think it's funny.
It's a secret phase that most women silently suffer through and then openly judge when they're out the other side and watching other moms deal with the same thing.
I don't roll that way.
I'm sorry. It sucks. Bad.

Maureen Fitzgerald said...

I think Boo and Little J should get married! Of course, I would be frightened of what kind of three-year-old THEY would have!! BTW I have the Spirited Child help at all. Does Supernanny do houses with just one child??? I've considered calling her :) Want to go in together???

Paige said...

I'm sorry. It's such an isolating, crazy-making thing. O has just dropped her nap. Just quit taking it. And I have daily felt it to be the only thing between me and the abyss. I don't know what I'm going to do. Does Boo nap still?

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Three is hard on the kids and on the moms. Hugs to you.

When my kids whine, I pretend I don't understand what they are saying (as if they are speaking a different language).

And, who has time to read, but I liked "How to Talk so kids with listen, etc" b/c it had CARTOONS in the book that sum up their approach. Somehow their philosophy worked well in this house.

One other thought---my middle child used to have the most INSANE tantrums around the age of 2-3--mostly at 3am as well--after many months of me seething and banging my head into the wall, I found out that if she thought I was angry at her, she would escalate and freak out MORE. She HATES thinking that I am mad at her, but instead of acting better, it makes her act worse.