I can't remember the last time I posted about this and I'm too pissed off to go hunting.
O's dad is a dickhead. He and his second wife had separated and he told O all kinds of stories about her - that she was a drunk, that he thought she was doing drugs, that she'd thrown things at him. Basically, he filled her head full of horror stories. Then, suddenly, they're back together and he just wants O to forget all these bad things he told her and welcome her back with open arms.
Needless to say, two months of these tales and O has no desire to see K. Couple this with the fact that K (the 2nd wife) has, in the past, been very mean to O, one time locking O in her bedroom and several times, screaming and swearing at her, both in person and on the phone. K is not exactly on O's list of favourite people.
Tonight, O's dad suggested that I was the one putting these ideas into O's head. He said that I was trying to tell her that he wasn't her father. He then accused his own brother of lying to O about him, that if O wasn't going to see him, she has no right to see her aunts or uncles. He was trying to guilt her from every angle. There was a litany of shit that he poured on her head. She got very upset and was crying. Finally, she told him she felt low and when he wouldn't let her go, she hung up on him.
He called back and I talked to him. I told him she was too upset to talk to him and that I'd have her call him tomorrow. He started to bluster and blow about going to school on Monday to talk to the guidance counselor - O has been seeing the GC for months because of issues with her dad. He doesn't think O should be seeing the GC at all, told O that he didn't want her to see the woman any more. Well, tough. If O wants to talk to her, then she will.
I'm so angry right now that I can't see straight, never mind type this coherently. Why the fuck can't he just be a dad to her? And if he can't be a dad to her, why can't he just fuck off?
She's afraid of him now. She thinks he's going to come to school and pick her up and take her away from me. She told me she didn't want to go to school next week because she thinks he's going to come and take her. How can you make your child feel this way about you? What is wrong with him?
Every time O talks to him, she cries. Every time she gets off the phone with him, she says "I"m so sick of being the adult, mum. Why can't he just act like a dad? He's making me hate him."
So, tomorrow, I'm going to call around for a psychologist for her. I wanted to do this before, but she wanted to try to work it out with the counselor at school. I have a bad feeling this is going to escalate, though. I don't know if O is going to want to cut relations with him permanently, but I figure I'd better get someone more official involved, just in case. Besides, a little therapy never hurt anyone.