I hate my life. I hate being home with the kids all day. I hate that I'm the one responsible for the majority of the housework even though I also work 30 hours a week outside the house. I hate that my kids don't listen to me. I hate that my husband doesn't listen to me, turning every issue I have back on to me and blaming me for whatever problems I have with him. I hate that he never, ever, EVER apologizes to me when he's done something wrong. I hate that he can't even admit that he HAS done something wrong.
People think I'm kidding when I say I want to run away, but I honestly do. I can't stand my life right now and at the moment, it doesn't seem like it's going to get any better any time soon and I'm not sure how much more of this shit I can take before I go completely batshit insane. I'm so stressed out. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to see anyone, I just want to be left the fuck alone. I'm taking everything very personally, unless people are talking to me in the gentlest of tones, using non-accusatory words and I know it's because I'm stretched as taut as I can be. The lightest of touches is going to make me snap in two.
I can't seem to make my husband realize how stressed I am by all of this. When I do talk to him about it, he suggests that I get a full-time, week-day job, which would be great except that I can't find anything that would pay enough to have both kids in day care. Working at night and all weekend long (seriously - 19 hours on Saturday and Sunday alone this week) is burning me out. I never have any time to myself except for Friday nights and by then, I'm so fucking strung out that I wind up having a few drinks and being completely overwhelmed and going home before I take all my frustrations out the people I'm hanging out with.
Things need to change soon.