Listen to Sarah McLachlan's Surfacing after having a few drinks.
Try to read about depression.
I was on the phone with a friend last night, talking to her about my marriage and my depression and was saying that I didn't know if my marriage was affecting my depression or if my depression was affecting my marriage. She said that was a total mindfuck. It didn't really hit me until today, but I think she's right. Maybe it's not him, maybe it's just the depression and maybe I should just back the fuck off for a little bit.