Thursday, November 17, 2005

No delivery

Olivia told me at 5:30 last night that she had a no delivery alarm. Ok, fine. She should have had a low reservoir alarm, but she failed to notice this. When I checked the pump's alarm history, it said a low reservoir alarm sounded at 6:30 A.M. The no delivery alarm had been going off since 3:30.

I hate to get pissed at her about her D stuff, but she's 11. She needs to take a little bit of ownership of this disease. If the pump alarms, she needs to tell me so that I can fix it. She has the pump set to vibrate so that it won't disturb class, but she's not paying attention to it when it goes off.

I need to figure out a way to fix this. I don't have time to check her pump several times a day to make sure there are no alarms being neglected. How do I pound it into her head that she has to start paying a little more attention? I'm perfectly willing to change sites, reservoirs, tubing, keep the log book up to date, track trends, figure out new basal rates, count carbs, measure food, whatever she needs me to do. But I don't wear the pump. I don't feel the pump vibrating. I need her to TELL me when it's alarming, I need her to not ignore it.

I know a lot of this is precisely because she's 11 and a flibbertigibbet who wants to chat with her friends and watch tv and play outside and I'm thinking, maybe this pump is making her too normal-seeming. Maybe, instead of being a constant reminder that she has D, it's making it too easy for her to forget that she does, to ignore it, to take it for granted that the pump will take care of itself. Maybe I need to talk to the endo about doing the untethered regimen - although the last time I brought it up, I was roundly poo-pooed by the CDE.

Last night, she was 459 with trace ketones and feeling really shitty. This is going to sound terrible, but maybe that will make her pay attention a little more. I don't want her feeling sick, I just want her to be a little more aware.

And to add insult to injury, she wanted to try a leg site. Not half an hour later, she went to the bathroom and yanked the site out when she pulled down her pants. Ripped out site + high bg = one very miserable girl.

By 11 last night, she was down to 183 and was 70 when she woke up this morning.


In other news, the guy (Dr. Ferber) who came up with the Cry It Out method of getting your baby to sleep has said that he may be wrong after all. Thanks a lot, asshole. I felt incredible amounts of guilt the few times I left Isobel to cry. I'd stand outside her bedroom door in floods while she sat in her crib, sobbing her little eyes out. Turns out, hey, guess what? You should do what feels best for you. Jerkface.


Sandra Miller said...

Oh Julia,

I'm so sorry you had one of those awful nights. We've had 'em here and, yeah, they suck.

I don't know the answer to your concern about increasing Olivia's awareness (I fear this may be coming for Joseph as well... ), except that, maybe you're right about her learning from her own mistakes...

Oh, and on Ferber ... hmmm ... "Jerkface"...yes, that sounds about right.

Kerri. said...

I don't know if this is right or wrong, and I've never been the parent (always the patient), but when I am ridiculously high, it does teach me a lesson. Shitty way to learn a lesson, but it is one that's taught, regardless. I don't want to feel that way, so I take measures to avoid it. That doesn't mean I'll be successful every time (or even 1/2 the time) but I'm sure as hell going to try.