I Think I'm In The Wrong Profession

I don't really like people. One on one, some of them are fine. The few, select elite I've allowed in are all great. Lovely people, really. But en masse? They suck.

Today, a woman at work told me to shut up. She was trying to redeem a gift card issued by the mall and it wouldn't work. She called the company that issued the card and came back to me to tell me what they'd said. When I said "Right, ok, I get it," in the middle of her sentence, she said "Would you shut up and listen to me?" I was interrupting her, I suppose, but mostly I was agreeing with her and indicating that I understood what she wanted. Shut up was a bit unnecessary. She bitched and moaned because I couldn't do anything to fix her card. I felt like saying "Lady, we didn't issue the fucking card, I CAN'T do anything about it, so take your spray-tanned, fake-nailed, snot-nosed self out of my face." But I didn't.

Most of the time, people at work are just irritating, but when they do things like that, or when they throw their money at me or throw their purchases at me or talk on the fucking PHONE instead of paying for their stuff, I have all I can do to not start screaming obscenities at them. I turn my head and roll my eyes. A lot.

I try my best to be helpful at work. I answer questions for people who interrupt me when I'm dealing with another customer, I point people in the right direction when they're looking for a certain item or department, I give my opinion on things when they ask, I even smile (and I am not a smiling kind of person). Most of the time, people are grateful and friendly and nice. But there are always some who think that because I work in retail, I must be dumber than a box of rocks and don't deserve to be treated with even a modicum of respect or decency. Those people ruin it for me.

I think I'd be better suited at being a hermit. Cranky misanthrope seems to be my ideal right now. I'm good at it. I rock the snarky aside and the biting comment. But that doesn't really fly when you work retail and somehow I don't see that being a real selling point on a resume.

So for now, I'm going to practice my smiling and attempt to fix this hole I've bitten in my tongue.

The Things People Buy

The other day, at Big Box Store, I worked in the junior's department, folding and straightening clothes (because I don't do this enough at home. Oy.) and came across a couple of racks of clothing that very nearly made me scream in horror.




It was like a flashback to high school. Overdyed jeans (they don't have them on the website, but at the store, they had purple ones. Purple. Cast your mind back. Screaming yet?), ballet flats and a Michael Jackson jacket. Between that and the layered, shot-collar polo shirts I've seen lately, I think it's safe to say we have re-entered the 80s.

God help us all.

From The Working Files

Working at a big box store gives me ample opportunity for people watching. Tonight, there was one man who caught my attention. He was very old, probably in his 80s. Every so often, I'd glance up from my register and I'd see him, coming out of the cosmetics aisle, tottering along, if a 6'+ tall man can be said to totter. He didn't look lost - in fact, I wondered if he was just doing laps around the store, getting some exercise in while it was quiet.

From the other side of the store, from the woman's clothing section, an old woman came along, pushing her cart. She rounded the corner, towards the cosmetics section, just as he was coming out.

And he smiled at her; a face-splitting, ear-to-ear grin as he spotted her. And she smiled back, the same sort of "oh my goodness, it's so lovely to see you" kind of smile. And I watched as they tottered over to my register, him resting his hand on hers as she guided the cart.

And when they came thru my lane, I couldn't help but grin. Truth be told, I got a little teary-eyed over them.

Random cuteness and two dilemmas

On changing a particularly stinky diaper: "Peee-ewww, Mama. My butt went up my nose."

On driving by Dunkin Donuts: "Mama, I need a coffee. I hab a large banilla, black. Ana munchkin."

On hearing the rustle of a candy wrapper: "Mama, I wanna cock lick." No matter how hard I try, I can't get her to properly pronounce chocolate. Let's just hope she doesn't ever ask me for any cock lick while we're at the market or anything....

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Dilemma #1:

When O was Boo's age, she was sick. It took months to get a diabetes diagnosis and during that time, she was, understandably, not feeling the best. She would sit on the floor and play with her toys. She spent a lot of time snuggled next to me. We read a lot of books together. We also spent a lot of time at the doctor's office, trying to get someone to listen to me that this child just wasn't right. I was told that I should stop worrying and be thankful I had a quiet two year-old. Ten years later, that statement still makes my blood boil.

Anyway. This post isn't about O, it's about Boo. She is so. fucking. stubborn. Every day is a battle of wills. Every day finds her stomping her feet and screaming "NO!" in my face. Every day, there are torrents of tears, complete with ear drum rupturing shrieking. I'm just waiting for the head-spinning, green vomit scene. (I was going to post a picture here, but, ew, I just did a GIS and, um, no. I'd successfully blocked that scene and now it's back. Fanfuckingtastic.)

She spends a lot of time in time out. I spend a lot of time berating myself because I often lose it when she gets like this. I'm usually successful at redirecting her because most of the time, the tantrum isn't over anything huge. But there are days (like today) when nothing works, when she's binging off the walls like a monkey on speed, when she spends more time crying than playing. I hate days like today.

I just don't know what else to do with her. Time outs, redirecting, talking to her (as much as you can talk to a two year-old) about how she's acting - none of it seems to work when she's really in a tizzy. Right now, she's in her bedroom, in her crib, because I'd had enough. I had to walk away before I totally lost it. I'm hoping she calms down, maybe takes a little nap, or just sits in there and chills out.

Most of the time, I like staying home with the kids. I like spending time with them without it just being a mad rush at the end of the day to get them fed, bathed and put to bed. I like having the weekdays to run errands and do chores so that our weekends are pretty much free. But days like today, man, I want to go back to work in the worst way.

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Dilemma #2:

Speaking of going back to work: TCBIM's company is looking for an office manager. TCBIM gave my name and resume to the boss, who seems interested. This could either be a good thing or a very bad thing. TCBIM is in sales and is rarely in the office - maybe once a week, he has to go in for something, but it's a quick in and out. If I were to get the job, I'd be on the phone with him a lot - the current office manager talks to him 10 or 15 times a day. So, I'd be working with him, but not with him, with him.

I thought I'd put it to my imaginary internet weirdo friends. What would you do? With either of these dilemmas? Answers on the back of a $20 bill, please. Send to: Major Bedhead, Westa Wistah, MA.