My Eldest

I don't often talk about A on here. He's going to be 19 on the 4th of July and, right now, is driving me to distraction.

A has lived with his dad since the 7th grade. We were living in Worcester and I didn't want A going to middle school or high school there. His dad's town had a much better school system, so we agreed he'd stay there during the week and I'd take him on weekends. When TCBIM and I moved to the same town, we were able to see A more frequently. It was really nice.

Over the years, A's dad has done a lot, financially, for A that I didn't think was a good idea. A had a senior class trip to England that was going to cost around $2000. I told Alex I could contribute $500, but only if he also put in some money. He said he would, but he never got a job to earn the money. Because he didn't keep up his end of the deal, I didn't give him the money. His dad then took out an equity loan to pay for the trip.

My sister and I found a car for A. It was a little beater of a car - an old Nissan or Toyota - something small, inexpensive and cheap. The deal was that A had to get his license and a job to contribute to the cost of car insurance. He did neither, so we wound up selling the car to someone else.

Various things like this have happened over the years. A has never been willing to pull his own weight. He seems to think that if he just ignores his obligation, his dad or I will step in to bail him out. Well, I don't have the money to do that. Neither does his dad, but his dad has stepped in anyway.

Fast forward - A has had a couple of jobs. Currently he's working in a warehouse, 3rd shift. He was going to college - my mother helped him apply and helped him get financial aid. It was only community college, but still, it was something. But A decided it wasn't for him after only one semester. Thus the warehouse job.

A and his dad had a big blowout a few weeks back. A and his underage girlfriend were in A's room. His dad went off on them - it wasn't the first time A had been told that this wasn't acceptable behaviour - so A took off. Since then, he's been staying with his girlfriend and her parents. In their SHED!

And now he has strep throat and mono, probably from not getting enough sleep and from sleeping in a damned shed.

Honestly, who puts a kid up in their shed? Why didn't her parents call one of us? What has he told them that they think living in their shed is better than living with one of his parents??

This is just one in a string of shit that A has done. I talk to him, his dad talks to him, but he won't listen. He tells us what we want to hear and then does what he wants anyway. And he's pissed at everyone because we aren't buying him a $10,000 car and subsidizing an apartment for him. I don't know where he got the idea that we had this kind of money to spend, but I know he thinks he's entitled.

It's so frustrating. I love him, but right now, I'd like to paddle his ass.